Dirty SMS messages
Come here, Lovingly urs, Toilet |
A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!
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( * )( * ) ) ( ( ' ) \ v / \ | / You're sizzling HOT! |
(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!! |
an essex girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives.the paramedic asks 'how many fingers have i got up?'the girl replies- oh no i think im paralised too |
Q: whats a 65 yr old woman got betwwen her legs that a 25 yr old a'int?
A: nipples. |
Man goes to the doctors after being raped by an elephant. Doctor says funny that your ass is 10" wide but an elephant's cock is only 3" wide, The man replies yes but the bastard fingered me first!
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sex is like a maths test: me plus u subtracked the cloths add the bed divied the legs multiply the orgasms fancy a maths test?? |
Roses R red, Pickeles R green, Open ur legs, I'll lick U clean. |
The fanny poem This is a hole that never heals, the more you rub it the better it feels, and all the soap from here to hell can never get rid of that fuckin smell! |
He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppydisk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo! |
sex is good sex is class whip me baby spank my arse doggy style 69 lick me out make me smile if u want me in the sac lick ur lips and txt me back |
Why is a woman like a bucket of KFC?Because once your past the tender breast and the juicey thigh all u have left is a greasy box to put your bone in! |
Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!! |
Old chinese proverb says "man with erection walking through door sideways is always going to Bangkok" |
After great sex she lies there stroking his *beep*, he looks at her and asks if she wants more sex, she looks back at him and says "no im just admirin ur *beep* cuz i really miss mine" |
John & Jim were having anal sex when John says "I've AIDS". "Dear God" cries Jim. "Only messing says John, I just love the way u tighten your arse when I say it" |
there is hot sex.fast sex.group sex.safe sex.leather sex.telephone sex and for people wiv a face like urs theres.............masturbation |
Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio |
Mr&Mrs Blobby r lyin in bed 1 nite Mrs Bloby turns 2 mr bloby & says 'bluba lluba lupblub' mr bloby turns & says 'shut the fuck up and swallow bitch! |
The weight of an average pair of tits is 1.5 kg. Scientists have yet 2 work out the average weight of a cunt. So if u could pop on the scales and ring me back.. |
When I was a girl I had a little quim. I sat upon my bed one nite & put a finger in. Now I'm a woman and full of grace & Charm. I can get 4 fingers in & half my FUCKING arm |
oral sex can be so fine when ur in a 69 u start 2 moan shake & quiver til u cum like a river when ur done don't be insane just wipe ur knob & start again |
What's the difference between your job and your wife?Your job still sucks after five years! |
friendship is like peeing in your pants. every1 can c it but only u can feel its true warmth.thank u 4 being the pee in my pants xxxx |
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